Guess what? I found myself cleaning my TV remote control.

OK, I know that cleanliness is next to godliness, but when is the last time you cleaned the remote control?

Let’s rewind a little bit. Back in the days of “Desperate Housewives,” I was a stickler for cleaning my remote, and when I wasn’t meticulously keeping an eye on the volume, it was unkindly peeking inside the box to make sure that there wasn’t any mold or dirt on the back.

However, now that I am away from my home in the service of my family, I tend to send these devices elsewhere. Maybe because I no longer have the house — they have now moved into apartments that look like tony country inns. Just like my remote.

Okay, so what are your thoughts?

What other TV control items have fallen victim to the home invasion of dirt and dust?

Maybe your TV has gone the way of fridges and light bulbs.

If the TV has become an eyesore, can you recommend cleaning programs or methods?

Are your remotes wired with special tools to help keep the dust from mounting up?

Or, maybe we all could write to the editor and ask why we can’t just buy a TV that cleans itself.

Or a dildo!

“We got one in the mail,” my then 3-year-old boasted. I didn’t see it until the gift exchange at the baby shower.

Wouldn’t that work?

I’m not sure if my baby tastes this weird, but what do you think?

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