Competent, capable, different not disabled

The Aspie Girl’s Guide

to Being Safe with Men

The Unwritten Safety Rules

No-one is Telling You

Aspie girls and women are incredibly vulnerable to having bad sexual experiences with men.


This is true for those pursuing dating and sexual relationships, but equally true for those who have no intention of doing this. This is also true for bright, capable and extremely high-functioning girls and women. These are very little-known facts and I want people to know them.


Whilst everyone is potentially vulnerable to having these bad experiences, I believe that aspie girls and women are particularly vulnerable because:


· we may not be able to tell if people are lying to us, manipulating us, being inappropriate or abusive;

· we may not be so quick at working out what to do in difficult situations;

· we may not have all the social knowledge we need in respect of our rights and choices; and

· we may not realise what we need to communicate and how to do this. 


I believe there is a massive gap in the education of aspie girls and women. Parents may be too embarrassed, sex education in schools may be too brief and, as teenagers, we may be excluded from the peer networks who discuss boys and sex. By adulthood, it is assumed we already know how to be safe and no-one is likely to guess otherwise or try to teach us. After all, who is going to go up to their 25-year old friend, or 40-year old friend, and say: “Excuse me, do you know how to be safe with men or do you want me to teach you?” We fall right through the gap and many of us fall prey to sexual predators as a result.


I have now written a book to fill the gap - a book of unwritten rules, now explicitly and clearly written - to give aspie girls and women the knowledge they need. This includes recognising inappropriate or abusive behaviour from others, knowing what to do in a wide range of situations, knowing when not to comply with others' expectations, and knowing what their rights and choices are and how to act on their choices to keep safe. I have also included rules for good self-esteem and a survival guide to overcoming and healing from any bad experiences aspie girls and women may have already had, or may have in the future. The result is a potentially invaluable book that gives hope and comfort together with a level of vulnerable honesty, clarity and useful, practical detail, the combination of which may not be found elsewhere.




To contact, e-mail: debi@aspiedebi.com

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